Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
