Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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