Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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