Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Hippo gnu deer
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
