oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize