Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
