Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
