I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
