is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
