is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
