Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
