JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
