Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
