While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize