I got chris browned last night
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
