dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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