Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize