what day is it and did you see me today?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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