I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
