What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
