I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize