We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize