strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
