Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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