I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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