Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
