he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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