I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
