how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
