just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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