I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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