Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize