so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
