the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
