Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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