so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
