so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
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