I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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