found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
