I can tuck mytits in my pants
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I believe in your delicious
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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