I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
If I die, sorry about rent.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
