So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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