fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
