The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
