I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
