You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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