The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
ugly people sure do ruin things
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
