I'm drive I can fine osifer
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
