Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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