I'm gonna have a badass scar
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
