I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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