you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize