Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
