I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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