Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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