dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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