somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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