I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
They have beer where we have blood.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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