This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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